Amazing morning here July 2, 2023 at Red Rock with my spiritual brother Tom Chenault and 100 other brothers and sisters getting my 15 year coin. We do recover and freedom and happiness comes into our lives like we’ve never known! As a Dead Head and now a Wharf Rat to all my Dead Head friends their aura was everywhere today!
It was 15 years ago today July 2, 2008 I surrendered to my 24 year drug addiction and double life. I fell to my knees in tears broken soul and beaten and begged God “Please take the chains off me, take the money, take the business and the notoriety that I need a single day of freedom. I then screamed if you take me out of hell I promise I’ll take others out with me”. A white light moment then happened that I never experienced before or since and my right shoulder was on fire as I heard a voice say “I’ve got you and you’re ready” I then stood up and flushed the last of my opiates and found a 12 step recovery meeting on line and jumped in a taxi with the gift of desperation. I walked into this Church basement in the upper 80’s in NYC and put my hand up ego crushed and shared with these 150 plus strangers I was a drug addict that was suicidal and broken to the core and needed their help. These strangers immediately became my spiritual brothers and sisters and were all once of a hopeless state of mind and welcomed me with open arms as I felt a part of something for the first time in my life. Several came over to me and said I could do this one day at a time and told me they’d love me till I learned to love myself as long as I slowly worked through the 12 steps which were a bridge back to life. Eventually I regained the power of choice and worked those steps and after being of service to others hope and recovery truly began. Now 15 years later I’ve kept my word to God taking many out of hell as I can’t keep this gift of recovery without giving it away to others. I’m so blessed to now have a platform around the world to be an agent of hope which means so more to me than any acolytes as an agent in my career. On my early journey I was accountable and blamed no one! I continue to be that way as healing and working on our character defects is an ongoing process for everyone. I developed self love from within and an unshakable faith, and the self esteem I was looking for my entire life doing estimable acts helping others. I’m now perfectly imperfect! So many are struggling with mental health and substance abuse so please know hope and recovery exist and we can get through anything in life sober you just need the strength and courage to ask for help! My test has now become my testimony and my pain has become my purpose and so can yours! Thank You Andrea T and Steve DV for showing me the way as we’re together today in Spirit !